--- title: 'Strategies for difficult emotions' url: 'https://cliniquevia.ca/en/resources/strategies-for-difficult-emotions' markdown: 'https://cliniquevia.ca/en/resources/strategies-for-difficult-emotions.md' lang: en date: '2026-11-11' description: 'Explore ways to respond to difficult emotions in everyday life, adapted from guidance by Dr. Samantha Goldwater-Adler, psychologist.' --- Tools for everyday life # Strategies for difficult emotions A few ways to pause, make room for what you feel and find some steadiness in your day. ![Warm light from a woodland cabin reflects in a stream at dusk.](https://cliniquevia.ca/images/d/4/6/9/4/d4694219593ea09638fada81c68e545d6620823e-woodland-guesthouse.jpeg) This guide is adapted from practical tips by [Dr. Samantha Goldwater-Adler, psychologist](https://cliniquevia.ca/en/team/samantha-goldwater-adler). [Back to Resources](https://cliniquevia.ca/en/resources) We all struggle with painful emotions sometimes. It can be hard to know what to do to cope. We may try to ignore, avoid, argue, or try to make these feelings go away altogether. These efforts often leave us feeling worse. The strategies below are practical tools you can try in everyday life, including outside of therapy. Choose one that feels manageable and try it at your own pace. ## Pause and notice ### Breathe comfortably You can make time for a few unhurried breaths wherever you are. If focusing on your breathing feels comfortable, notice its rhythm and let the air move in and out without forcing it. ![](https://cliniquevia.ca/images/9/a/3/d/b/9a3db1c20c924f4320d251d7962bbc4708217811-audio-breathing.jpeg) #### Deep breathing English · 10:18 Deep breathing is a skill for calming down and making space for a pause. Dr. Samantha Goldwater-Adler on The Natasha Hall Show, CJAD 800. ### Notice your surroundings Grounding brings your attention to the present moment through your senses. Feel your feet against the floor, look at something nearby and notice its colour or shape, or listen for a sound in the room. Pick whichever sense is easiest to focus on where you are. ![](https://cliniquevia.ca/images/5/f/f/a/b/5ffab706840deb4e3ae1160075974bee08e85e13-audio-grounding.jpeg) #### Grounding English · 6:33 Grounding uses the senses to bring attention back to the present moment. Dr. Samantha Goldwater-Adler on The Natasha Hall Show, CJAD 800. ### Practise mindfulness We all have painful thoughts. These may be about the past (“I wish I had done something differently”), about the future (“What if something terrible happens?”), or about how we wish things were. It can be easy to get caught up in them. In mindfulness, we practise noticing these thoughts without judgment and gently redirecting our attention to the present moment, with interest and curiosity. Let the thought be there as you come back to what you were doing. ### Release muscle tension We often hold tension in our bodies when we are feeling stressed, anxious, or angry. Progressive muscle relaxation involves gently tensing and then releasing one muscle group at a time. You might start by making a loose fist and then letting your hand open. Notice how your hand feels after you release it. Choose an area where the movement feels comfortable. ![](https://cliniquevia.ca/images/0/a/9/7/e/0a97eabf4b38b14a85e4cb1c883a5a7da4ca1ca8-audio-adults.jpeg) #### Relaxation for adults English · 12:46 A guided exercise for adults that explores tensing and releasing muscles. ![](https://cliniquevia.ca/images/6/3/a/7/0/63a707836481c00bb0053f75868291413824e7ee-audio-children.jpeg) #### Relaxation for children English · 13:17 A guided muscle relaxation exercise for children, with time to tense and release the muscles. Guided exercises from Samantha’s original resource. ## Write or move ### Write a few lines If writing suits you, jot down what happened, how you feel or what you might need. A few lines can help you put words to what you’re experiencing. ![](https://cliniquevia.ca/images/a/1/f/5/b/a1f5bb2ccd5dd26f39deaef17d9c4364efcd0434-audio-journaling.jpeg) #### Journaling English · 5:40 Writing is one way to put words to difficult feelings and work through them. Dr. Samantha Goldwater-Adler on The Natasha Hall Show, CJAD 800. ### Find a way to move Emotions can get our bodies ready to take action. Choose a way to move that fits the moment, such as taking a walk, dancing to a song or doing an exercise you enjoy. If the feeling is tied to a specific concern, consider what small step you could take to address it. ![](https://cliniquevia.ca/images/a/5/0/e/0/a50e04a069c32d11e7a3c2bc04656e24a3e40133-audio-movement.jpeg) #### Action and movement English · 5:36 Movement and practical actions can help you respond to the energy of an emotion. Dr. Samantha Goldwater-Adler on The Natasha Hall Show, CJAD 800. ## Keep a few anchors in your day Most of us thrive on routine. A reasonable daily schedule can offer some steadiness in stressful and uncertain times. Alongside work and chores, make room for things you enjoy, activities that matter to you and time with other people. If you’re planning a routine with a child, give them a say in it. For example, let them choose an activity or suggest the order of a few things they need to do. ## The Guesthouse meditation In this visualization inspired by Rumi’s poem *The Guest House*, you imagine welcoming each feeling as it arrives. Set aside about ten minutes if you’d like to try it. 1. Find a comfortable spot where you won’t be disturbed. Sit or lie down, and take a few easy breaths. Picture a guesthouse that feels safe and welcoming to you. Samantha imagines a log cabin in the woods with big windows and a warm fire. Yours might be by the sea, with waves you can hear through an open window. 2. Imagine walking to the door and opening it. Notice the emotion you’re feeling and picture it standing at the door. Invite it inside, whether it’s stress, anxiety, comfort, irritability or shame. Offer it somewhere to settle, perhaps a cushion near the fire. Give it a little space, as you would a guest in your home. 3. When you’re ready, imagine going back to the door. Notice what feeling is there now and welcome it in too. You might offer this guest a place on the sofa with a soft blanket. Continue at your own pace, making room for the feelings that come and go. ## If you’d like more support If you’re wondering whether to seek help, the Ordre des psychologues du Québec explains [when to consider talking to a professional](https://www.ordrepsy.qc.ca/web/english/when-should-you-seek-help). You can also learn about [individual psychotherapy and counselling at Clinique Via](https://cliniquevia.ca/en/services/individual-therapy). AI-generated illustrations depict fictional settings. --- ## Navigation - Parent: [Resources](https://cliniquevia.ca/en/resources.md)